Mind-Altered Freeloaders

By Mark L. Taylor

The Daily Call (10/12/11)

Ya gotta’ love what passes as American leadership these
days. According to a New York Times article (10/11) some three dozen states
have now made passing drug screens a qualifier to receiving public assistance
like food stamps, job training, unemployment assistance and public housing.

Self righteous calls for such accountability come despite
plenty of evidence the poor don’t use drugs any more than the rest of the
population; despite the more stressful living situations poverty entails. But
if heroic legislators are going to insist upon such abstinence demands of a
poor single mom living large on a $342-a-month welfare check how about holding Wall
Street mooches lapping up tax payer funded government subsidies, crooked tax
loopholes, sweetheart no-bid government contracts with profit guarantees to the
same standard?

Really,
they gotta be smokin’ something

Given corporate
America’s track record and how they have driven the economy right smack over a
cliff one has to wonder what the hell besides $100 bills these guys are smoking
in those cushy Wall Street offices.

But there’s one group of government freeloaders that
should be topping off test jars before anyone in the housing project across
town or even Wall Street and that would be the legislators coming up with these
plans. I mean, heck, these guys are living fat off the government teat. They
get health insurance most of us can only dream of and retirement benefits that make
the average Social Security check look like a tip at McDonalds.

And who pays for their junkets (I mean the ones they
don’t take aboard private corporate jets) and their free postage at campaign
time? It’s not like these congressional lampreys and their state house pals are
picking up the weekend night shift at Kwik Trip to make ends meet. Shouldn’t we
expect the same unadulterated streams of crystalline pure vanilla scented pee
from our sage legislators they demand of a single mom raising two kids on a few
hundred dollars of food stamps?

I mean, it’s our tax dollars, right? Why should we
subsidize depraved behavior in congress or the state house?

Of course we’d need new lab tests to sleuth out what’s twisting
the minds of so many non-producer legislators and pretty much the entire
Republican Party. After all we would need to test for toxic levels of hypocrisy
and disorienting blood levels of hubris and mind-bending greed.

We’d need to double-check the color of their blood since
all that corporate cash can give the blood a zombie greenish hue. Before that
next fat paycheck from the taxpayer demand to know if your lawmaker is
legislating under the influence of big pharma or smoking something from the
corporate farm lobby. Shouldn’t we know if they are passing bills in the middle
of the night under the dizzying influence of duplicity and soul numbing doses
of war contractor campaign contributions?

What if your representative is near overdose from
frightening levels of self-importance and utility company blow? You don’t wanna’
pay for that, do you?

I sure as hell don’t!

What if your rep is experiencing withdrawal from the
human race after snorting heart-stopping amounts of deficit reduction smack on
top of extremist religious speed? I mean these animals will snort up Ajax if
they think it will give them a tenth of a point in the polls.

Big
stash, and a modest proposal

Pay-offs, junkets, bimbos, artery clogging meals,
discounted mortgages for weekend love shacks, yachting gifts and speaker fees
that would pay for your kid’s first year at college – in Bimini; and that’s
just in their first week on the job.  There is absolutely nothing these hungry freeloaders won’t scarf up to swell their
shriveled dank cardboard souls with self-importance.

Well not on my dime, Bucko!

If these legislative puritans want to stick it to the
poor and disabled, okay, but not before they get a good dose of their own
testing. Until we come up with the right lab tests maybe there’s some appropriate
truth test from Guantanamo that can be used on these sanctimonious charlatans.

Now where’s my CIA water boarding manual?

States Adding Drug Test as Hurdle for Welfare: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/11/us/states-adding-drug-test-as-hurdle-for-welfare.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=us